HEARING GOD’S HEART ABOUT FORGIVING OTHERS
In my forty years of pastoral ministry, I have noticed that most of us don’t quite understand how forgiveness actually works. We give it a shot by saying things like: “Well okay, I’m sorry,” or, “If I offended you in some way, please forgive me.” The first is a lame statement, and the second is just a masked way of saying, “If you were so overly-sensitive to be hurt by my little thing, then I’m sorry.” Just doesn’t work, does it? So, let me see if I can get you started in seeing what forgiveness really is . . .
“To forgive is to set the captive free, and discover you were the captive!”
“What!?” you may ask. Okay, hang with me here. In Matthew 18, Jesus stunned Peter by saying we are to forgive people “70 times 7,” (a figurative way of saying, “all the time,” and “every time”). Then, after telling a story, Jesus also says that if we don’t forgive, the heavenly Father will allow us to be metaphorically tortured like the unforgiving servant in the story. Wow. So, let’s crystalize the point:
When we fail to forgive people (“I will never forgive ______”), the Lord allows the natural consequence of bitter blaming (an emotional cancer) and resentful gossip (a toxic gas) to hold our hearts and lives captive in what the Bible calls “the snare of the devil.” We are so blind to this; we actually think we are holding the other person captive with our disapproval or even hatred until they come to repent first. Wrong.
If that were true, then you would remain in captivity until the other person got their act together, right? But God has a better way:
First, we are to instantly forgive like Jesus did: “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” (“Wounded people wound people.”) Second, and harder, is to forgive like Joseph forgave his brothers (Genesis 50) for intentionally selling him into slavery! This can only be done on the supernatural level, for sure, and in a nutshell, that can only come from two confessions in this sequence:
Confessing to God personally. I John 1:9 tells us: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Starting here is crucial as we let the Lord reveal to what degree we may have contributed to the wounding circumstances. When we own it and confess it vertically first, He cleanses us, leads us to forgive the other person, and settles our heart to then humbly confess that to one another. If we approach another without this, we make it worse.
Confessing to others privately. James 5:17 tells us: “Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.” Being set free and healed from unforgiving bitterness comes when we start with fervent prayer, and THEN in the resulting spirit of humility, we ask for, grant, and receive each other’s forgiveness in His mercy and grace. When we do, Jesus smiles, Jesus heals us, and our captive hearts are set free! If we don’t, we will stay chained in tortured bitterness
That’s a quick peek at the subject, but if you want to hear more, check out my website at markpg.org. Life is too short to be bitter!
Getting set free with you,
Pastor Mark
